Disclaimer: the post below discusses offensive language which I do not endorse.
A buddy recently mentioned his young son had just seen the animated film Despicable Me 3, which included a scene featuring '80s rock staple "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits. Accordingly, he later played the song for his kid, and was shocked to discover the lyrics prominently featured the word "faggot". I was similarly surprised, having never noticed that in a song I've considered an innocuous bit of "dad rock" used in movies and car commercials aplenty.
In the song's lyrics the epithet is used to insult the protagonist -- a disparagement of the lead singer and his supposedly cushy lifestyle. It is not an affirmation of the flagrant homophobia of, say, early '90s NWA or early '00s Eminem (or the Beastie Boys' 1986 debut album, originally titled Don't Be a Faggot). But its casual appearance arguably makes it more jarring -- no popular artist today goes anywhere near such language.
"I used to use that word so freely in middle school," my friend noted. "I had a hard time typing it just now." It's a sign of how far treatment of the LGBT community and consciousness about the impact of language have come in such a short time.
As a kid who grew up in the '90s, long before I ever thought about sexuality or the connotations of the words I used, "Smear the Queer" was a common recess game in which an entire group of kids would chase after and tackle the one carrying the ball. Had any of us given it thought back then, all we would have realized is that it was a funny-sounding, rhyming name. Frankly, the far more indefensible recollection I have is of pickup basketball games circa middle/high school in which epithets were thrown around casually -- "pass the ball, faggot!" was a routine chastisement by on-court bullies to anyone who messed up or appeared unconfident. As late as college, hyperbolic video game trash-talk between friends featured intentionally cringe-inducing language.
Even so I believe most kids then weren't conscious about the impact of words like that (to a large degree, the same was true for racial references1) -- and, unfortunately, I'm sure that made it even more hurtful to those who were affected by it. It's therefore a welcome change for the prevailing norms now to be more empathetic and inclusive. That has taken place in just a handful of years, so suddenly in fact, that slightly-younger people like my sister or a flabbergasted friend to whom the other day I recounted '90s playground put-downs, grew up in a completely different environment with a far higher degree of awareness and sensitivity.
Hard as it may be to remember now, even President Obama came into office against gay marriage (and the fact that his position was likely driven by political expedience is a damning indicator of the times). To its credit, mainstream American society has done a complete 180 in its views on homosexuality over the last decade. A solid majority (61%) of the country approves of gay marriage now, with the poll numbers the inverse of what they were in 2004. By 2016, even the otherwise morally bankrupt Donald Trump could say in his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention "I will do everything in my power to protect our LGBTQ citizens" and draw the conservative audience's applause2. And now in 2019, a leading presidential candidate (even if he winds up an early "flavor-of-the-month") is Pete Buttigieg, openly gay and married, from Indiana -- something that would have seemed unimaginable not long ago.
For anyone like me, who sometimes feels a sense of hopelessness about the seemingly intractable nature of many societal problems and the impotence of political leaders to drive meaningful change, the rapid evolution of sentiments on this topic provide hope for similar advancement in other areas. Given how unexpected this transformation was, it's a fool's errand to try to predict what may be next to suddenly reach a tipping point -- but it appears the de-escalation of the drug war, particularly with the broadening decriminalization/legalization of marijuana, is headed in that direction.
Speculating longer-term, perhaps future sea-changes could include a backlash against industrial agricultural practices (if not outright vegetarianism or adoption of lab-grown meat becoming the prevailing attitude), a complete decoupling of health insurance tied to employment, or a radical and gender-equitable expansion of parental leave rights. After all, "the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."
1. For much of my childhood, there was a looser consideration of language and how that related to identity. During the brief period I attended a predominantly black-and-Hispanic middle school, I was routinely referred to as "my nigga" -- when not being called Hadji, after the turban-wearing sidekick (voiced by a white actor named Danny Bravo) on the cartoon Jonny Quest. Moreover, my white classmates who were neither preppy nor into nu-metal were called "wiggas"... Last year's movie Blindspotting featured a scene in which a character of apparent Indian descent is reminded by his black friend "you can only say that with me". -- which cracked me up, as it reflected a plausible alternate reality had I not moved to a different school when I did.
2. Of course, President Trump's complete disinterest in governance has led to an administration pursuing myriad anti-LGBT policies.
More on Citizens Band:
- On the necessity of feminism (Oct 2012)
- On racially-charged language (Apr 2014)
- On supporting the troops (Jul 2014)
- On President Trump's election (Nov 2016)
- On resurgent white supremacy (Aug 2017)
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